Scary Mask

Scary Mask

Ever since Cain and Abel, brothers have had a complicated relationship with each other. When I was a boy my parents kept a Halloween mask in the hall closet. It was a mask of a native North American, with a very big nose, a wart on his cheek, a prominent chin, and it scared my brother out of his wits. My brother was probably five or six years old and had trouble recognizing that when the mask was on me, I was still the one behind the mask. So he would follow me to the closet door where I would reach in and slip the mask over my head. When I turned to face him he would scream and run crying -like the banshees had just knocked down the door.

I would laugh with glee. I don’t know why as his brother I got such pleasure out of torturing him. I know it’s not a new dynamic. Tomes of psychological texts have been written about the brotherly bond. Now mind you I was the older brother, twice his weight and a foot taller. But I still took glee in dominating him. When we wrestled, as brothers invariably do, I would pin him to the floor and laugh out loud: “a ha”.

The miracle in this story is not just that we both survived, but that as adults he seems genuinely fond of me. When we visit each other today he bends over to kiss the top of my head. When I was coming out, I came out to him first. He was great with me, and encouraged me on my journey. I officiated at his wedding; Tom and I were at the hospital for the birth of their daughter. Maybe the writers of Genesis knew that at the core of jealousy is love and affection. Maybe they knew that a brother can be the best friend a guy can have.