Going to the drive-in

In the late 1950s my family and I went to a drive-in theater to watch a movie. My father was substituting for the regular projectionist who had taken a two-week vacation. I don’t remember what movie we saw, maybe Walt Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. The whole experience of watching a movie in the car was so unique. We three kids would go in our pajamas so that when we fell asleep in the car, our parents would just have to carry us to our beds upon our return home.

The drive-in was a fascinating experience. With the little metal speaker that would hang in your window, the big snack bar at the back of the space, the playground under the screen for the little tykes before it got dark. And then there were all those people sitting around you in their cars, in the dark. It was as if you were alone in the middle of a crowd.

By the end of the 1960s there were 220 drive-in theaters in the state of California. Today about 20 remain open. Home entertainment centers have changed our lives, but the drive-in experience is a memory that will be hard to erase.

Grapes

When I was a boy, our home was located in the midst of vineyards, Thompson seedless table grape vineyards, to be precise. I loved these grapes. When you pop one in your mouth it provides an explosion of refreshing flavor.

Viticulture was originally brought to California by Spanish Franciscan friars, who in 1769 began cultivating grapes at California missions in order to produce sacramental wines. It was not until the 1800s that the production of table grapes became popular.

So picture me if you can, a skinny boy of 11 or 12. I would go into the vineyards after the pickers were done. This is what the Bible called gleaning, (Leviticus 19:10), a noble tradition where the pickers would leave some of the fruit on the vine for hungry peasants like me who came along.

I would trundle home with my box of grapes and sit in front of the TV, eating as many of those delicious morsels as I could. I would stuff a handful of grapes into my mouth and chew and swallow while sitting in the cool breeze of the air conditioner. This was a little bit of heaven on a hot June afternoon. Of course within an hour I felt a little bit sick to my stomach. I guess even a little bit of heaven has its costs.

Speaking of costs, prices for table grapes in recent days were approximately $701 per ton. I don’t think I ate a ton of ‘em, but I probably owe someone some money.

Exams

In 1989 I took the exams to be a licensed marriage and family therapist. I had spent three years getting a masters in marriage and family counseling, and the license would give me the authority to practice independently in California and bill insurance for my work. I passed the written exam first time, but the pass rate for the oral exam was about 50%. Needless to say I was nervous about coming this far and not making it. I took a prep course that was widely touted as the best in the region. Tom and I were living together by then, so he helped me study my flashcards. By the time the test came around he could tell you almost as well as I whether a concept was Freudian or Jungian, and whether a Satir intervention would work better than a Minuchin intervention with a particular family.

The Oral exam was being held in the Hilton Hotel near Los Angeles International Airport. Since I needed to be there early for the exam on Friday morning, Tom and I went to the Hilton on Thursday night and took a room. I was very nervous. He did what he could to calm me down, shoulder rub, back rub, foot rub; enough said. I was fully prepared and completely relaxed in the morning. The exam went smoothly, I made no obvious errors. And then the waiting began

I don’t know if it’s better today, but in those days waiting weeks and weeks for the results of the exam was just what we had to put up with. It was during that waiting period that we sold our house and moved to San Diego. The idea was if I had passed my licensing exam, I could more easily find a job and make a living for us in San Diego. Tom would be making more money in his new job but it was still necessary for us to be a DINK (Dual income no kids) couple. So we moved into the future on faith, faith that I had passed. When I interviewed for possible jobs I told them that I had taken the exam and was still waiting for my result. I must’ve looked competent. I got a job offer. A month later the test result arrived in the mail.

I passed. I gave Tom full credit… and from time to time you can still overhear him quoting the great therapists of our time.

Ships in the Desert

A month ago my husband and I, along with two of our loyal friends, went to Coachella Valley High School, to join in the celebration of its 100^th anniversary. The school's steel reinforced concrete walls look very much like they did when I was in school in the 1960s. One feature I enjoyed even as a student was the way the campus was designed around a collection of connected quadrangles. As I recall, a lot of the student life could be conducted outside in the shade of the quads, because the weather wasn’t oppressively hot until June when school was out for the summer.

During our visit to the campus I was struck again with the design features at the entrance; large concrete structures that sweep up and over the roof look like the superstructure of a ship. And the corners of the buildings are rounded as if to cut through the waves more easily.

My understanding is that the architect of the original Coachella Valley High School was E. Charles Parke. So the design features that reminded me of a ship in the desert came as no surprise. It was E. Charles Parke who designed my grandparent’s home in Thermal in 1939. And that home certainly had some ship-like features. There was a round porthole window in the front door, a second-floor deck that wrapped around the east side of the house, rounded corners on the exterior walls, and a glass brick window in the stairway.

Parke was a Canadian, born in 1886, he became a naturalized citizen of the U.S. and moved to California where he set up offices in Riverside and Chula Vista.

Information about Mr. Parke is thin. I can only guess that the man who grew up in Ontario, Canada, was more accustomed to lakes than sand. But when he encountered the waves of sand dunes in Southern California, he couldn’t resist designing around some nautical inspirations.

The Floor and I

I grew up in a 900 sq. ft. house that my father had built with the help of his brothers. They installed radiant heating, a series of hot water pipes, in the concrete slab. On cold winter mornings the floor was toasty and warm. When I was 10, I must have weighed all of 65 pounds, and I was frequently cold in the winter. So in the mornings I could be found on the floor in the bathroom where the radiant heating worked most effectively through the linoleum. My sister would pound on the door and shout “Ronnie, get out of there; I have to get ready for school”. Sometimes my brother would join me, and then we were twice as difficult to budge.

In the 1970s I developed a primitive practice of yoga. I learned to take the position of the plow and stretch my legs and back. I was taught in the course of actor training that the floor was my friend. I was encouraged to get friendly with it and know where it was at all times. I’m not sure what actor training is like today, but in those days we spent a lot of time on the floor, being snakes and bears and what have you.

In the 1990s as MS began to impact my locomotion, I developed methods to assist myself. I would lean on furniture and eventually had grab bars installed in the bathroom. But like most humans, I get distracted. One weekend Tom was away from home visiting his mother in Florida. I was transferring from my chair to the bed with the aid of a tall pole installed in our bedroom. I could usually make the transfer in one smooth movement, but my legs didn’t really have the strength to hold me up. So on this particular evening, I pulled my pants off and accidentally slipped to the floor. I couldn’t get back up. I tried to crawl up into the bed, no dice. My arms weren’t strong enough. I thought about spending the night on the floor, I could pull bedding down on top of myself, but I would still have the same problem in the morning unless I wanted to spend three days on the floor. So I reached the phone off my nightstand, and called my next-door neighbor, the San Diego police officer. He came over and got me into the bed, and told me I would be surprised how many times the police get called for similar situations.

I don’t spend much time on the floor anymore. Today most of my transfers are assisted by someone. But if I make a misstep, my old friend the floor is still there, waiting to embrace me with open arms.

High School abuse

When I was in high school in the late 1960s I was the victim of a roughing-up. I had to walk through a long hallway to get from one class to another. I was late to class and found myself the only person walking down the hallway. But there were eight or nine boys lining the walls on each side of me. They were dressed in T-shirts and baggy denim trousers, the 60s version of what might have been called ‘pachuco’ style in the 1940s. As soon as I entered the gauntlet, they closed in on me and pushed me to the ground. Then they scattered my books around and kicked me in the ribs for good measure. As quickly as it all happened it was over and they dispersed. I got to my knees and picked up my books. I realized I could stand and breathe and nothing was all that damaged. I felt fortunate and went on to class.

In retrospect, I was probably the victim of opportunity. The event may have had some racial overtones, or some fashion implications, (because I wore some hideous slacks from JCPenney). All in all I got out of high school without much tribulation. Today when I read the alarming statistics about teenage suicide, I know a lot of it has to do with how teenagers treat each other badly. I know it’s not a new problem but it is a tragic one. A young person might get targeted for having bad skin or speaking with a lisp or wearing hand-me-down clothing. Whatever the catalyst, it’s no excuse for this treatment.

I had so many positive experiences in high school; in sports, in student government, in drama, that my brief encounter with violence was easily shaken off. I shudder to think what would have happened if being jumped was my daily experience, and my primary experience. I understand teenage despair. If a youngster feels different and isolated, it can feel like a lonely prison cell. Spread the good news; after high school it gets better.

See the ‘it gets better’ campaign on YouTube.

Names

I watched a royal wedding recently and I was interested to note the name of the groom. Prince William Arthur Philip Louis. His moniker evokes centuries of history- and a complex labyrinth of family relations.

My father’s name was Ewing Lee Robertson. I once asked my grandmother why she had chosen the name Ewing. Dad was her sixth son, and she said after all those boys she had run out of other names to use. She already had a Harry and a George and a Carl and a Glen and a Gaylon, so when she met someone named Ewing, she thought ‘That would be a nice name for a boy.’

Ewing was a fine man, honest and decent. He always left a place better than he found it. On his deathbed he said to my husband and me that he was glad we’d found each other and he encouraged us to continue taking care of each other.

As a young adult I wondered where my parents had come up with the inspiration for my name. My middle name is Ewing, and I’ve always felt privileged to carry a little bit of my father around with me. But my first name has no obvious familial origins. As a young adult, my politics began coalescing. And I started to worry that my parents had named me after a certain Ronald who had become governor of California. My mom reassured me that Mr. Reagan had never been a hero of hers. Long before him, she was enchanted with the name of another actor, Ronald Coleman. A film critic of his time said this of Coleman:

“For such a gentle man, he had a core of strength, an adherence to his own code of honor like steel - incorruptible and immoveable.”

Need I say more.

I believe that names carry a certain indescribable influence. They imbue a person with certain qualities and they radiate a personality before the person is fully formed.

Our niece and nephew, Jennie and Kevin, had a baby boy last month. He was their third child after giving our family two beautiful daughters, Ainsley and Hadley. I have to admit I was moved to tears when I learned they’d named the boy, Ewing.